Let’s say that you’re taking your dream woman on a drive. You get into your old minivan, go a few miles and then drop her back off at home. Not the most memorable date.
Now imagine you take your woman on a drive in your 700 horsepower Ferrari through rolling green hills out to the ocean. She can feel the wind in her hair, smell the fresh grass of the hills, taste the salt in the air as you approach the ocean, hear the music playing through your world-class stereo system and see the world rushing past with your convertible top rolled down.
Big difference, right?
Well, guess what? During sex, most men are giving the woman they’re with quite a dull ride. Why? Because they’re not fully involving all five of her senses.
To her, experiencing ONLY touch is like driving along the ocean and only being able to see through dirty windows. She doesn’t get to feel the wind, to hear the music, to taste the salt in the air. She doesn’t get to throw herself fully into the experience.
Bringing all five senses into lovemaking is a great way to really turn up the dial on her pleasure. So how do you do that?
1. Voice: When you are willing to moan, groan, growl, or laugh in bed it gives her permission to do the same. This creates an amazingly sexy dynamic. Also, speaking to her directly and telling her 1) what you like, 2) what turns you on, and 3) what you like about her is like “chick crack cocaine.” And there’s nothing more fun than having her be high on YOU while you’re having sex. Just saying things like, “That’s really hot, babe!” or making “Mmmmm…Yes!” sounds can really turn her on.
2. Sight: Women love to be appreciated. When you can call attention to the parts of her you truly enjoy, she melts. “I love the way your butt connects to your thigh.” “This part of you is so hot I want to bite you there.” “Oooh, I am SO into this part of you.” You can appreciate any part of her body this way: her neck, her legs, her breasts, etc.
3. Smell: Every woman has her own unique smell. One of the most intoxicating things you can do is to gently press your nose against the side of her neck and then take in a deep long inhale as you slowly move upwards past the back of her ear. There is something very primal about this that activates an animalistic turn-on in her. And, for her it’s also a feeling of “Oh, he likes my smell.” From there, see if you can describe the essence of her scent back to her. “Mmmm, I love how you smell like sweet papaya.” It’s okay to exaggerate a little, but it’s best if what you are saying relates to how she actually smells to you: fruity, bread-like, spicy, earthy, and so on.
4. Touch: It means a lot to a woman to know that you like how she feels to touch. So practice describing to her how good her skin and body feels, and what specifically feels good about it. You can start by saying something as simple as, “You feel amazing.” Or “I love the feel of your skin on mine.” Then go deeper and say something like, “I just love the way your breasts are so smooth and voluptuous. They’re just perfect.”
5. Taste: Yes, you can speak to her taste. It’s similar to the way that you would describe her smell. What does it taste like to kiss her? What does her skin taste like? What does her sweat taste like? “Mmmm, you taste good.” Or “Mmmm, you taste like sweet, fresh bread.” Again, it’s OK to exaggerate a bit if you need to.
Think of how important senses are to an animal. Animals are not intellectual the way we are. Think of a cat or dog that you know. They will look at you and sniff you and taste you. They will listen deeply to the tone and quality of your voice.
The big picture is this. If you can share your experience of these different parts of her, it lets her know that you are paying a lot of attention. It means that you are not in your head making a shopping list. It means you’re present with her… and a present man is a sexy man.
So here’s what I want you to do the next time you have sex: Make a deal with yourself that you’re going to focus on at least two of the five senses. Really experience those senses with her. Then tell her about what you’re experiencing.
If this is brand-new to you, then kudos in advance if you say anything to her along the lines of what I’m describing. Most guys struggle with saying anything at all to their women.
Talking to her will show her that you’re into her. Using the five senses is your best vehicle to achieve that.
