Take a look at this list of life experiences, circumstances, and personality types — you may find yourself in one or more of the categories. Most men who come to coaching with me are dealing with a combination of issues. See if any of these fit for you.
Newly dating after divorce
Maybe you haven’t had sex with anyone other than your ex in 15 years. Maybe you simply forgot how to date and seduce. Maybe your marriage left you with relational and sexual confusion (at best) or scarring (at worst). You may find yourself at the edge of a new frontier of relationship — equal parts scary and exciting.
Not a lot of sexual experience
A heavy cultural stigma, this can be the case for men both young and old. Whether you entered into monogamy with your high school sweetheart and are just leaving that relationship, or you’ve lacked the self-assurance and right circumstances to get the sex you wanted, you may be looking to gain the confidence you need to become more of a sexual rock star.
Sexual flatline in a long-term relationship
How does the person you negotiate life with remain your steamy-hot lover? How do you cross the barriers to intimacy to create a juicy sex life? What is your half of the equation?
Ah, porn. While not inherently evil, it can significantly inhibit your ability to have a satisfying intimate relationship with another person. I help you assess the degree to which your porn use prevents you from getting the love and sex life you want, and create strategies and practices to ease out of addiction to a more healthy balance between intense visual stimulation and flesh-and-blood (and heart!) contact.*
Recovering from sexual abuse
While I am not a therapist trained with the necessary skills to meet all the needs of a trauma survivor, I do welcome the honor of helping men with a history of violation recover their sexual birthright. If you feel you have previously gained enough support, stability, and self-awareness to deepen your connection with your sexuality, I will walk with you on a well-paced path toward reclaiming both pleasure and power.
If done with respect and care, polyamory places an emphasis on communication, consideration, and compassion for all involved. While stable, healthy, and satisfying polyamorous relationships are certainly possible, these explorations can also raise shadowy issues like jealousy, abandonment fears, and painful comparison. I help you navigate the path of polyamory, and determine if it is truly right for you at this point in your life.
Being a “pleaser”
Have you noticed a tendency to focus primarily on your partner during sex? Do you consider yourself successful if they’ve come even if you haven’t? Do you have sexual desires you think about, but rarely speak? These questions point to a loss of sexual connection with yourself, and are often a source of mediocre, unsatisfying sexual experiences.
I understand the physical and mental components of a sex life fraught with anxiety. I can help you move through shame, and relax into your natural sexual confidence as a man.
1) It’s not your fault! Nature designed you to ejaculate as soon as possible. 2) I can help you learn to last longer and reduce the stress associated with this “condition.”
More common than most folks think, fetishes are a deeply personal link to fulfilling sexual expression, and I celebrate them. I coach men who have not yet come to fully embrace their “kink” to explore and integrate the drive behind the fetish. As a result, they begin to find liberation through acceptance of this aspect of their sexuality.
Click the button below to set up a free 30-minute Sexual Satisfaction Session with me.
* I am not trained or qualified to help men assess for or recover from addiction — sex or otherwise — nor do I give referrals. If you believe you may be struggling with addiction, I recommend you contact a licensed therapist in your area who has specific skills and training in addiction recovery.